Living with Fear

I suppose to a certain extent, fear is controlled by genetics. I have a feeling that a lot of my fear comes from my father's side. There were moments of my life in which I remember my father worrying about things. And it is not just simple worrying. The closest thing I can describe it is that I try to live every single possibility in a fraction of time. When deciding about a course of action or a situation, I live through and experience the whole gamut of the emotions involved. But usually, I end up experiencing the negative and the unhappy or embarrassing emotions over and over and over again.

Perhaps, there was a biological use for this in the twilight of man's development in the world. After all, perhaps only those homo sapiens who had the ability to remember the bad things through the emotion of fear were the only homo sapiens who went on to reproduce.

But in this day and world, fear only serves to stop a person from acting decisively or boldly. I often encounter this pattern of behavior at the law firm. Individuals know that there is an issue to be resolved. But they pass the buck or do not act because they are afraid. The issue becomes less and less manageable until it breaks the system down.

Everyone is afraid. It is difficult to overcome the emotions and the rush of hormones adrenaline and cortisol. But, the power of the mind is stronger than all the emotions. You can choose to control your thoughts. All it takes is to decide to choose happiness each and every single day you live.

At first, it will be difficult. You will be sucked back by your emotions. You will get lost in the despair and the agony. But always have a trigger to reset yourself. Find something that you can cling onto so that you can take yourself out of the emotional well of despair. For me, this has often been trophies. My achievements written on index cards. I read my triumphs and I get myself out of the emotional well. The triumphs do not have to be significant to everyone. The triumphs should be the small daily things that make life worth living.

Some examples of triumphs:
bowling a 150 game
getting complimented by someone
looking good in a suit
talking to someone
graduating from something, anything
completing a certain phase of your life.

Use the documentation of your life as a shield to cover yourself from the unrelenting pressures of daily life.

After some use, you will find that your mind can automatically take you away from all the pain and sorrow of memories. The next step then is to let go of all the physical reminders.